disambiguation
by nrebecca
Summary: In which all of Snape's memories of Aurora find a way to reach their true potential.
1. one

**Note: I wrote this some time ago, and it didn't end up piecing together quite the way I wanted it to. The tone didn't end up the way I'd pictured it, so I'm not entirely pleased with the end result, but not really up to changing it around, either. But I truly adore this pairing and wish more people did as well…so, enjoy it for what it's worth, and tell me what you think. Snape is probably ridiculously OOC throughout most of it, but hey, I'm no JK Rowling.**

**Also, I split it into chapters for organization's sake, but it's really meant to be read all at once, for effect. **

one

_Yes, there was the time…the very first…yes, the first time he remembered noticing her…_

It was Christmas Eve at Hogwarts, and Severus was in his sixth year. So close, yet so far from graduation, and another year of staying at the castle for the holiday.

His mother had sent him an owl, it was best for him to stay where he was, yes. Some of his father's relatives from Cambridge were visiting and…well, she thought he'd be more comfortable…not being around. Even her note was barely convincing, he could remember that vividly. He wondered which limb he had broken on her this time, which "accident" she didn't want him to see.

Either way, he was, again, the only Slytherin to stick around. Severus had found out the hard way that most every child sorted into Slytherin came from, of course, a pureblood family of copious wealth.

He had joined the rest of the students, no more than 20, and staff for Christmas dinner, only out of requirement of a growling stomach. He sometimes secretly wished he had no physical needs for nourishment, so that he could stay to himself always, with no need to socialize with his peers unless he wanted to. And rest assured, he would never want to.

As there was only one table, he was forced to sit with a cluster of Ravenclaws, the least of three remaining evils. At least most of the Griffyndors had gone as well, including Potter and Black. Although his shoulders still slumped and he kept his face hidden at all costs, at least he had the relief of knowing he wouldn't be openly tortured or ridiculed this Christmas.

"…has the mumps, I guess; horrid Muggle disease, highly contagious. So I'm staying away, obviously."

The tinkling voice caught Severus' attention and he looked up, possibly for the first time all night, from his golden plate. It was a younger girl, sitting diagonally from him, wearing a red sweater. Her brown hair was half curly, half not, and mostly just messy, but pulled into an attempt at a smooth ponytail. She had those ridiculous metal braces on her teeth, which suggested she was from a Muggle family. He couldn't recall ever seeing her before, and wondered her name.

He only wondered for a moment before she noticed his gaze. Instead of looking away from the "creepy Slytherin boy", as most girls her age probably would have done, she met his eyes and held his stare.

"Hello," she greeted, and her voice sounded neither ridiculing or judgmental. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

He was inwardly shocked that she knew his name, and looked back down at his plate, mumbling an unintelligible reply. The Ravenclaws continued in conversation, not attempting to include him further, though he knew, through furtive glances underneath the curtain of his hair, that this girl continued to regard him occasionally.

After the main courses and desserts, students began to leave the table in twos and threes, headed back to their common rooms with full bellies and thoughts of gifts under the tree the next morning. Severus dawdled, pushing his pudding around his plate idly. He had no unrealistic dreams of presents, no. He'd given that up long ago. Perhaps his mother would send him a book, or some chocolate. Maybe a couple sickles. But that was it. He had no other friends, no other family.

Finally, the table mostly cleared, he pushed his plate away and stood to return back down to the dungeons, alone.

"Goodnight," called that same tinkling voice, and he stopped in his tracks. How had he not noticed that the girl had remained at the table with him? He turned, slightly, noticed she was sitting behind an empty plate, as if she'd finished ages ago. How long had she remained, watching him?

"Er, goodnight," he murmured, and began to turn away.

"D'you know my name?" the voice called out again, seemingly echoing throughout the Great Hall. Severus hesitated. Should he keep walking as if he hadn't heard? Or respond?

The better half of him won out.

"Uhm, no," he admitted, turning to face her again. "I'm…sorry, I don't."

"That's okay," she chirped, and held out her hand across the table. "I'm Aurora Sinistra. I'm a 5th year, so we don't have any classes together."

Severus stared at her and swallowed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd touched a girl that was not his mother. Maybe Lily Evans but…he tried not to think of her much anymore. He made no attempt to take her hand.

"S-severus Snape," he replied, dumbly remembering too late that she apparently already knew his name. But she only nodded and smiled, dropping her offered hand back to her lap, only slightly awkwardly.

"I know. I heard you're very good in Potions."

He frowned. "From who?"

"Professor Slughorn," she responded. "He talks about you in our block all the time. Snape this, Snape that. 'Snape concocted a brilliant Drought of the Living Death last week, I don't know how he does it! Perfectly clear, like glass, what a wonder!'" Her imitation of Slughorn's voice was spot on, and Severus could not help but smirk.

Aurora Sinistra shrugged. "He reckons you may become Potions Master someday, at least hopes. Everyone knows he's dying to retire."

She spoke with a lofty kind of know-it-all authority. Typical Ravenclaw. Severus pursed his lips and sneered inwardly. Potions teacher at Hogwarts, him? No, no. He had much higher dreams than that. Much larger hurdles he wished to overcome. But he needn't tell this girl.

She must have realized he wasn't much of a conversationalist, because she shrugged and stood up. No wonder she looked so much younger than a 5th year, she was very slight. Her poofy hair maybe added a few inches on to her height, but she still barely broke 5 and half feet.

"I guess I'll be off." She hesitated slightly, but Severus offered no reply. "Well, happy Christmas again. Nice talking with you."

Severus nodded, and turned on his heel, ready to head in the opposite direction as quickly as possible. His conversation skills were certainly sub-par, and now that she knew this, he doubted Aurora Sinistra would even bother chatting at him again.

Oh well, wasn't like he needed friends, not where he was headed.

Ravenclaws weren't really worth it, anyway, he thought, making his descent down into the dungeons. Too smart for their own good.


	2. two

two

_Then there was the time they had met again, her first year at Hogwarts._

There were two things Severus did not expect to hear at the start-of-term staff meeting that year. One being that the insufferable twit Gilderoy Lockhart was assuming the post as Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. What a tremendous blow to his ego. Of course, deep down, he understood Dumbledore's reasoning, but _Lockhart_?

Two being that Professor Burkensickle, of the Astronomy department, had retired. Taking his place was the poofy-haired, red-sweater wearing, half-blood Ravenclaw girl from his sixth year.

Sinistra.

Snape didn't hear many of the words that Dumbledore used as he brought Aurora up in front of the long table in the staffroom. Instead, all he could seem to focus on was her hair (it was no longer poofy, and now dark, smooth, and shiny), her teeth (they were straight, white and metal-free), and the wonder if she remembered him at all. Should he pretend not to remember her if she didn't? Or remind her, _"I was the greasy-haired Slytherin boy, you know, the one you talked to once on Christmas Eve?"_

He didn't have time to deliberate, as the meeting had ended, and the other professors were starting to leave the room, undoubtedly heading off to put the last minute touches on lesson plans. Severus stood to follow suit, but as he turned to leave, he noticed something rather disconcerting.

Lockhart had cornered Sinistra.

Not in a threatening way, per se, but as most of the other teachers had left the room already, he had descended on her in that "magical" way of his, effectively trapping her at the table in what looked like a truly scintillating conversation. At least, on Lockhart's end. He knew that the sorry excuse for a wizard was quite adored by many females, but as far as Snape was concerned, the only person who should rightly be infatuated with Gilderoy was Gilderoy himself.

At first, he offered only silent sympathies and began to continue his course out of the room. But to his surprise, Aurora caught his gaze before he turned away, and her eyes widened for a moment, almost imperceptibly. To the untrained eye, one might not notice the subtle gesture. But Severus had always been increasingly observant. He attributed this to a childhood free of siblings or friends – keeping to yourself offers the potential to notice every detail.

As Lockhart continued babbling, Aurora's eyes flitted back to Snape's and she widened them again, this time paired with a slight tilt of her head. Clearly, she wanted him to help her get out of this predicament. Either that, or she perhaps had a speck of dust in her eye. Guessing the former, Severus sighed and resigned himself to a good deed for the day.

"Professors." His voice cut into Gilderoy's droning tale like a knife into butter. "Might I…interrupt?"

Gilderoy spun around in his chair. Snape had never seen anyone look so delighted, _all the time_.

"Severus!" he exclaimed, bouncing up to shake his hand excitedly. "So good to have you join us. I was just telling Aurora about the time I single-handedly intercepted a swarm of doxies, and rendered them completely useless with one flick of my wrist!" He laughed, a grating sound, and clapped his hand on Snape's shoulder. "Any experience with doxies, Sev?"

"Actually," Severus replied, trying not to flinch at the shortening of his name. "I need to speak with Professor Sinistra privately. It's rather…urgent."

"Oh." Gilderoy's smile seemed to falter for a moment, but all of his molars remained gleefully visible. "Well then, chap. Don't let me stop you. Need to run off, anyway. I was about to go see what I could do about that nasty poltergeist problem. Peeves, do you call him?"

Snape resisted a grimace. "Yes."

"Silly thing, to name such a pestilence. No wonder he sticks around, must feel right at home." Lockhart laughed again, clapped Severus on the back once more, and, after bidding adieu to Sinistra, left.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Aurora let out a heavy sigh, her facial expression finally showing how she really felt about the dimwitted Lockhart.

"Thank you, thank you," she gushed, slumping in her chair as if she'd just run a race. "I thought I was going to be stuck here for _hours_, listening to that man's millions of made up stories."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that the fairer sex was usually quite enamored with Gilderoy and his tall tales."

Aurora rolled her eyes. "Please. If I wanted to hear fairytales, I would read his books."

"I believe even Beetle the Bard has a more believable repertoire in the land of fantasy," said Severus. "Well, if you'll excuse me, Madam, I -"

"You do…remember me, right?" Aurora asked suddenly. "I was a year below you in school, in Ravenclaw. I don't think we talked much but -"

"I remember," Severus interrupted. "You've…changed quite a bit. But I do remember."

Aurora smiled. "So have you." She remained seated, and Snape felt odd standing over her, so he sat down slowly, a little unnerved. "How long have you been here?"

"Almost 12 years," he admitted, feeling old, although he had only a year on her.

"Let me guess, Potions?" He nodded, and she smiled again. She was almost as smiley as Lockheart, though not nearly as annoying. Yet. "Of course. Slughorn hit right on the nose, then. Did you inherit Slytherin as well?"

"I did." He did not tell her his original plan to teach the subject that now belonged to the irksome author.

"Must be fun," Aurora continued. "Head of your old house, teaching your favorite subject. Impressive."

"Quite."

"Still not much of a raconteur?" He was surprised by her questioning. He was not the best conversationalist, but few were as brash to point it out. She seemed to notice his minute change in expression. "I don't mean to be rude. I really am thankful that you saved me."

Severus pursed his lips. "I hardly think 'saved' is the correct word in this context."

"Oh, it is," Aurora replied. "In fact, I believe I am rather indebted to you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" 

"Yes. Perhaps we could have dinner in Hogsmeade one night, before students arrive?" she suggested. "We could catch up; it has been quite some time."

"We have house elves to do the cooking, Professor," Snape reminded, keeping his voice as clipped as possible. He did know that his rejection would be somewhat hurtful, but he also knew that it had to be.

Aurora's face flushed and she stammered a bit. "I-I know that, I just thought-"

"Miss Sinistra, I regret to inform you of my beliefs in keeping relationships among the Hogwarts teachers at a strictly professional level. You understand, of course." He paused and tried not to notice her embarrassed and somewhat crestfallen face. "For us to have dinner, together, would undoubtedly arise some suspicion. I am pleased to have you as a colleague. Now, if you will excuse me."

He stood and nodded at her curtly before heading for the exit. She said nothing.


	3. three

three

_And another, just a year later_.

He had needed to borrow a planetary chart of hers, to show how the pull of the moon affected the tides, and allowed one to pick the perfect day and time to collect Murtlap tentacles for the brewing of Murtlap essence. It was an exact science and a difficult art that he wished to illustrate as best as possible.

Not that any of the rotten gits he taught appreciated it in the slightest.

He had ventured to the Astronomy tower to return the chart, during the evening after one of her classes. It must have just ended because a slew of Gryffindors were exiting the staircase when he arrived, looking sleepy-eyed. Most barely noticed him in their tired state, but Neville Longbottom literally jumped out of the way as he began to ascend the stairs.

"P-p-professor S-snape," Neville stammered and rushed past him. Severus smirked; he had never seen a third year more petrified of him. Brave-hearted Gryffindors? Ha!

The smirk turned to more of a scowl when he remembered the rumored whispers of a boggart in Lupin's class…something about himself wearing a dress…stupid werewolf.

Nearing the top of the stairs, Severus edged by a few more tired students, assuming that most of the stragglers had made their way out. As he approached the door into Sinistra's classroom, however, he heard a voice that made him stop in his tracks and frown.

"Professor?"

Snape rolled his eyes. It was Potter, of course. Why did that boy end up everywhere that he was? He was like a pesky little mouse, always scampering underfoot, just begging to get stomped on.

Sinistra's voice responded, her usual light and airy tinkle. "Yes, Mr. Potter? I trust I answered all of your questions about the longitudinal line through the Square of Pegasus?"

"Yes, yes ma'am," Potter responded, and Snape could hear the sound of him stuffing his books into his knapsack. "I just had another question. A…bit of a personal one."

Severus clenched his fists and used all his restraint to avoid storming in and taking 50 points from Gryffindor right then. Personal questioning of a professor, he would never allow it in his classroom! And if Sinistra had any smarts, she would shut him down and send him off right away. What was he up to, anyway? Probably trying to weasel his way into more trouble somehow. Strange, Snape thought Potter usually had Granger doing his dirty work like this.

Of course, Aurora Sinistra responded kindly, though Severus could hear the wariness in her voice. "Oh? And what's that?"

"Well, I was just wondering…" Potter paused. "How you can…well, how you can sit next to Snape at the high table every night and not want to strangle him?"

Snape's jaw clenched as Sinistra laughed. Yes, laughed. He could hardly believe it; both that she was laughing at Potter's idiotic questioning, and that her laugh sounded exactly like her voice - airy and tinkling, like a wind chime. He considered turning and leaving the tower, but curiosity kept him rooted to the spot. Here he would undoubtedly find out how much Aurora despised him and his dismal nature, as did probably every other Hogwarts professor. He didn't care, he didn't need anyone close to him.

Aurora's laugh died down and she cleared her throat. "Harry." A desk creaked and Severus pictured her leaning up against it, arms crossed over her chest like she did when she was sharing some piece of pertinent knowledge she assumed everyone else wanted to hear. "_Professor_ Snape is not what you think."

_What?_ thought Snape, just as Potter's voice echoed his same sentiment aloud. "What do you mean, Professor?"

"I mean that he is indeed intelligent, and gifted, an effective teacher and a brilliant potion-maker. He is brave, courageous, thoughtful, and kind." Aurora paused. "Though I believe he chooses to keep those attributes of himself well-hidden, I don't doubt that any one of them is a part of his true character."

Potter's silence seemed to prove him as dumbfounded as Snape. "Uh. Alright."

Aurora laughed again, that same airy sound. "Well, I don't expect you will understand, Harry." There was the sound of parchment shuffling around on her desk. "But, someday, perhaps."

Snape swallowed and cleared his throat loudly, choosing that moment to sweep into the room.

Harry Potter's eyes widened as he took in the appearance of his Potions professor, but Aurora simply glanced over her shoulder and smiled, apparently unsurprised. Snape affixed his glare on Harry mercilessly.

"15 points from Gryffindor, Potter," he said. "For unnecessarily beleaguering a Hogwarts professor."

Harry's wide eyes narrowed and he shoved the last of his belongings away, strapping his book bag over his shoulder as he headed for the door. "You're right, Professor," he replied to Sinistra. "I don't think I understand at all."

"And that's five more points for your cheek," Snape called after him, waiting until the heavy door at the bottom of the stairwell thudded shut, leaving the classroom in silence.

Aurora was still shuffling parchment around on her desk, pausing to glance at one, then shoving it underneath a pile and tossing it into a basket. Severus watched as she began to extinguish the torches around the round classroom from where she stood, wandlessly. She was adept at some wandless magic, he knew this, both from rumors when they were students together, and Dumbledore. Albus considered her a talented witch, and wasted no opportunity to remind Severus of this. Why, he wasn't sure.

"If you were listening, Severus, and I'm almost positive that you were," she announced, putting out the last torch lamp and leaving them in the moonlight that streamed in from above them, atop the ramparts. "I meant every word I said, of course. And, not just because you were eavesdropping."

Severus scoffed silently, slightly crumpling the rolled up chart in his clenching fist. "Your opinions do not concern me. I am more unnerved by the discipline your classroom clearly lacks."

Aurora looked away from her desk, her expression amusingly befuddled. "Discipline? What on earth are you going on about?"

"There is no reason for students to dawdle after class to ask mundane questions, unrelated to your subject," he pointed out. "And there is no reason for you to answer them. Foolishness, Sinistra."

Aurora plucked up a quill from her desk, looking for a moment if she was going to throw it at him, and instead tossing it back to the desktop, a bit more strongly than needed. "You are going to lecture me about the way I conduct my own classroom?" she snapped. "And are you _ever _going to call me by my first name, you twit?"

"I don't believe I heard 'twit' as one of the adjectives you used to describe me to Potter," Snape pointed out, taking a couple strides closer to her to hand over the planetary chart. "Thank you for the generous use of your possessions. It was of great help to me." He nodded at her and turned to leave. "Good evening, Professor."

"That's it, then? You're just going to leave?"

Snape half-turned back towards her. "Yes. You were expecting me to stay?"

She tossed the chart down on her desk, clearly still exasperated with him. "Well, no, I just…"

Severus sighed and continued for the door. "It is late, and I've no need for childish games. Allow me to wish you a goodnight, and -"

"I just don't get you sometimes, Severus." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't understand…what you've chosen."

Snape clenched his jaw and looked back at her, one hand clenched around the edge of the heavy wooden door. "I do not expect you to. Nor do I expect you to defend my character to the likes of a fool as ungrateful as the Boy Who Lived."

Aurora's eyes softened and turned almost sad. "I know why you despise him."

His jaw clenching tight enough that it was quite painful, Severus pursed his lips. "Is that so?"

"Yes," she replied, tipping her chin up slightly. "He is the physical representation, the living example…of Lily's preference for another man. And that kills you, doesn't it?"

She wasn't mocking him; she seemed quite depressed for him, actually, but Snape felt his embarrassment mingle with rage as her words sunk in.

"How _dare _you?" His voice was barely raised over its normal decibel, but his tone expressed openly every ounce of anger and shame he felt. He pushed off of the door and stalked back over to her. Aurora's eyes widened slightly, but she did not falter as he towered over her.

"I would implore you, Ms. Sinistra, to keep your mouth shut when it comes to your speculations on my personal convictions." His voice was dark with concealed emotion, and Sinistra seemed to notice this. Her eyes softened again but she did not speak. "And I would advise you to keep your opinions out of any situation involving me, of which you clearly have no understanding, in the future. Do I make myself clear?" 

He was close to her, close enough to touch, and Aurora seemed to realize this, taking a careful step back. She bumped into her desk and her hands shot out to hold the edge of it for stability.

"Crystal clear, Se-Professor Snape." Severus had never heard her voice sound so clipped and professional. "I apologize for being so unwelcomingly familiar. It is most certainly not my place."

He turned away from her instantly, and left the tower without another word.

His hands shook all the way back down to the dungeons.


	4. four

four

_And then there was the time of the Triwizard Tournament, and its accompanying Yule Ball_.

She had worn a dress of gold, an odd choice, Snape thought. But, fitting, for her. Perhaps she'd wanted to shine as brightly as one of the stars she found so interesting. When the light caught her flowing dress and the simple gold chain she wore in her dark hair, Severus realized that she shone brighter than any star he'd ever seen. She stood out perhaps more than she ever had at her entire career of Hogwarts in this one, singular night.

Snape wasn't sure if he was the only one who noticed this, however.

He watched her from the far side of the room, as distanced from the dancing as he could possibly manage. He watched as she conversed with Hermione Granger at the punch bowl. Watched as she danced a graceful, but clearly unnerving, two-step with Alastor Moody.

He watched but didn't dare approach.

And then, when the music turned more raucous and the dancing even less civilized, Snape excused himself to patrol the outer corridors. There were already girls crying or sitting forlornly on the grand staircase in clusters. He pointedly ignored them and headed for the back exit to the grounds, where the rosebushes grew in the perfect alcoves of darkness to allow for a covert (and popular) rendezvous spot. Ruining the fun of teenagers was what he considered to be a more prudent alternative to jumping up and down ridiculously to the musical stylings of the Weird Sisters.

His path to the door was interrupted by an unexpected sight. Aurora Sinistra was comforting a distraught black-haired girl, a third-year Slytherin, if he'd guessed correctly.

He could have continued right past, of course. There were a million reasons to assume Sinistra had the situation under control. He would not kid himself into thinking he could comfort the girl in any way.

But he could think of a few reasons to stop, as well. He was, after all, the Slytherin Head of House. And he knew firsthand how difficult some Slytherin girls could often be.

And at the top of the list, whether he wanted to admit it or not, was that damn gold dress.

"Professor Sinistra," he allowed, nodding to her as professionally as he could muster. They were, after all, colleagues. "Is there a problem?"

Aurora smiled at him, her hand still on the Slytherin girl's shaking shoulder. "Severus. No problems here. We were just having a chat."

Severus narrowed his eyes and tried to remember the weepy girl's name. She was a rather insufferable student, he knew. He had just taken 10 points from Slytherin last week for her unstoppable blabbering during his Potions class. Lorena Maythorne, he believed.

"Miss Maythorne," Severus asserted, and the girl raised her teary eyes to his. "Surely you are feeling ready to rejoin the party in the Great Hall by now?"

Lorena's eyes skipped from Snape's hard, cold gaze back to Sinistra's warm and encouraging one. "I…I guess so."

"Fine. I trust you can find your way back." Snape kept his tone normal, monotone and clipped. Why treat a blubbering girl with any more consideration than he would a dry-eyed one?

Once the Maythorne girl was out of earshot, Professor Sinistra's tight smile disappeared.

"Could you be more of an arse?"

"Pardon me?" Snape felt his throat dry up and he tried not to lose his nerve from being so close to her and that dress. He felt it was hard to look directly at her, but that must have been because of the reflection of the lights off that…gold. Sparkling, shimmering, so bloody noticeable gold.

"You object, Professor, to the disciplinary actions I have chosen for my own house?"

Aurora cocked her head and her eyebrow at the same time. "You believed that the situation in question required any kind of disciplinary action?"

"I acted accordingly to the -"

"Oh, please, Severus, the girl was crying over some Ravenclaw boy that stood her up. A little time to recover could be allowed."

Snape couldn't stop the sneer that made its way across his face. "I know nothing of being stood up by bratty students. Perhaps that's more your area of expertise. I'm sure you were jilted by a few fellow Ravenclaws yourself in your time?"

Her glare intensified and it didn't look right on her glowing face. "Sometimes I really just want to slap the bollocks out of you, Snape."

"Completely normal reaction, I assure you," he acknowledged, and made to move past her towards the doors. "If you will excuse me, I'm off to spread more holiday cheer."

"Perhaps you'll join me for a dance after?" Aurora called after him. "The orchestra is set to return later in the evening. I know you prefer the classics."

Severus took a moment to wipe the small smile off of his face before turning around. "Certainly not."

Her lips pursed but he could sense a smile of her own hiding out of sight. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

He swallowed and replied in kind. "Happy Christmas, Aurora." 


	5. five

Five

_And then, just six months later, the last task of the Triwizard Tournament. _

Harry Potter had just returned to Hogwarts via the unknown Portkey of the Triwizard Cup, and Cedric Diggory was dead. The arena full of students was erupted into cheers and music and Severus half-wondered if he was the only one who saw something terribly wrong about the way Potter was slung over the Diggory boy. Was he…weeping? Severus bounded out of his seat and towards Dumbledore, but before he could get to the old man, Albus was already up and heading towards Harry. Shouts and cheers were still coming from the crowd all around him – how could they not see, the blithering idiots?

Severus could feel McGonagall at his heels as he bounded down the steps, her hand shaking on the back of his cloak, her murmured, "oh, my…oh dear" over and over again. Before reaching the field, both of them were intercepted by Cornelius Fudge.

"Keep everybody in their seats!" Fudge demanded of them, grabbing Severus' arm desperately. He had never seen a grown man look so terrified. "A boy's just been killed," he hissed, glancing around in a panic.

Minerva sprang instantly into action as the realization of the dire situation began to settle in the arena. Snape stayed at the foot of the stairs as a few startled gasps and screams of horror began to interrupt the celebrating. He turned his back as the strangled voice of Amos Diggory crying out over his dead son.

And that was when his eyes met hers – Aurora Sinistra, half out of her seat next to Septima Vector, a hand in front of her open mouth, she looked horrified as their gazes locked. Severus looked away, swallowing hard and setting his face firmly into a mask of coolness, lest anyone know that he was nearly as terrified as the likes of Fudge and Sinistra.

Later, after the strangest portions of the night had revealed themselves, Severus swept through the empty halls of Hogwarts. He'd remained under the guise of patrolling for any students out of their dormitories, trying to catch any whispers of what had happened that night. But truly he knew that he simply could not, would not sleep…not tonight.

He'd just turned the corner down the Charms corridor when something small and dark flew into him. Instinctively, he reached for his wand and pushed his assailant back against the wall, none too gently. He realized, too late, that the attacker was much too slight to be a Death Eater.

"Severus," Aurora gasped, not seeming to notice that he had just manhandled her rather roughly. Her hands shot out and grabbed handfuls of his robes desperately, and Severus alternately grasped her elbows, keeping her steady and within a healthy distance. She seemed to be completely unaware of how close they were, however – her eyes were wild with something like dread and worry, and her hair was free from its traditional low chignon. It was one of the only times he could remember seeing it loose, hanging past her shoulders in soft, dark waves. Apparently she had been wandering the corridors for some time.

"I've been looking for you for ages," she sputtered, confirming his suspicion. "It's – we need – where – oh, Severus – it's…it's _Moody_!"

"What are you blabbering about, woman?" Severus demanded, still holding her steady as she shook the front of his robes, clearly frustrated.

"Moody, Professor Moody, he's not…there's something…wrong!" she stammered, glancing around quickly. "We need to tell Albus, I'm afraid…well, I think he may have had something to do with…what happened! Whatever did happen."

"Get a hold of yourself," Snape asserted, making sure she was steady on her own feet before letting her go and reaching up to pry her hands off of his robes. "It's been taken care of."

"But you don't understand, I—" Her hands stilled as his words sunk in and Severus gently pushed her away, taking a step back. "It's been…what?"

"We've discovered the imposter posing as Alastor," Snape said. "Barty Crouch, Jr. He's under the Ministry's custody as we speak."

Aurora looked as stunned as he had upon finding out. Yes, he had been suspecting something odd was going on with Moody, but never this. Never had he imagined, in his wildest dreams, the story that Crouch's son had told them tonight.

"So he…it was him? The whole time? All these…weird things, Harry's name in the Goblet…all of it?" Aurora demanded. "Barty Crouch, Jr.?"

"Shocking, I know. But yes," Severus deadpanned, smoothing the front of his robes. "And you…knew of this treachery?"

Aurora seemed to realize how wild she looked, and reached up to smooth her hair. "I knew from…well, I suspected…since the Yule Ball," she admitted. "There was something about him when we danced, something…creepy. I supposed it was just a guess and ignored it, but after…tonight, I…" She trailed off. "Well, better safe than sorry."

"Excellent deductive skills, Professor," Snape replied, feeling maybe just a little bad for his tone when he saw the worry return to her eyes, the dread from earlier replaced with sadness and fear.

She took a step closer to him, closing the gap between them again. Severus didn't move away but was ready to stop her should she try to grab at him again.

"It's true, then?" Her voice was barely a whisper in the otherwise silent corridor. "He's…back?" 

Severus felt his resolve soften a little as he looked down on her obviously scared visage. He sighed and glanced about the deserted corridor before replying.

"Yes. The Dark Lord has returned."

Then, two surprising things happened almost instantaneously. First, tears began rolling down her cheeks, and second, she was touching him again. And before he could put a stop to it, her arms were around him and she was…hugging him, her face pressed into his chest as her shoulders shook silently. Severus was floored. He couldn't remember the last time any female had embraced him in this way…even his mother.

"For Merlin's sake," he muttered, but it seemed that pushing her away was both impossible and boorish at this point. What on earth was he supposed to do? Console her? He didn't even know the meaning of the word.

Somehow, however, his hands found his way to her back, resting gently there, on top of the soft Muggle sweater she wore. Severus sighed inwardly. He could hardly believe himself. What was he doing? What if some idiot student came down the hall? He could just hear the rumors now, _'I saw Professor Snape _hugging_ Professor Sinistra!' _

Besides any of that nonsense, he didn't know how to comfort a woman. What on earth was he supposed to say?

"Alright then," he said aloud, although the normal harshness of his voice had softened down a tone or two. "Come on, now. Crying isn't…well, it isn't much going to help anything."

Aurora pulled slightly away from his chest, but kept her arms around him. Severus was suddenly very uncomfortable with the proximity in which they were standing and tried to avoid meeting her eyes.

"What will you do?" she murmured, and reached for his forearm, the likes of which had been burning for months, but tonight had reached its full potential. The skin under his sleeve was on fire, crawling with the reminder of his past. Before she could touch it, however, he wrenched away from her, placing a strong hand on her shoulder to push her away yet again and put some distance between them.

"Watch yourself," he warned, holding his forearm far away from her reach. "You don't want to get involved in this, Aurora."

"Involved in what?" she demanded, and her puffy, tear-streaked eyes turned defiant and maybe a little hurt. "_Caring_ about what happens to you?"

"Yes," Severus hissed. "Exactly that. This is none of your business, don't pretend that you know what is going on. I believe we've had a similar conversation in the past."

Aurora pushed his restraining hand off of her shoulder, her sadness now replaced with anger.

"I _know_ you're not a Death Eater, Severus," she shot back. "I know that Albus trusts you implicitly. But I know you've been there, I know you—" 

"_You don't know anything_," he snapped, and his voice was surprisingly cold, even to his own ears. "These matters do not concern you, Aurora, and I demand that you _butt out_."

Apparently unwilling to take no for an answer, Sinistra didn't allow his intimidation to affect her, and she reached up to wipe her eyes.

"Give me a break," she sighed. "You don't scare me."

"Madam, I am not trying to –"

"Oh, I know _exactly_ what you're trying to do, Severus," Aurora replied, cutting him off. "You've been doing it for years." 

Severus sighed and crossed his arms. Apparently, she was not about to take no for an answer tonight. What was it about a student dying in an uproar that sent the whole staff into hysterics all of a sudden? 

"Have I?" he drawled. "Please, Professor. Do offer your assuredly scintillating opinion on the matter, as I have no doubt that I will not be able to stop you."

Aurora mirrored his stance instinctively. "You've been pulling this act for ages. First, at school, you embraced the life of a dark loner, so that no one would look closer, ask questions about your life outside of Hogwarts, or, Merlin forbid, your bloodline."

Snape set his mouth into a hard line; she was dancing on thin ice, but he didn't say anything.

"And then, at Hogwarts as a teacher," she continued. "You returned from a life of darkness, turned hard and cold so that no one would ask questions. You like to pretend that you're a royal bastard at heart and no one likes you, which is of course untrue."

"Is that so?" he humored. "Do tell."

"You're a brilliant professor, Severus, everyone knows that," Aurora pointed out. "And everyone knows, also, that Dumbledore himself has vouched for you so many times that to not trust you, is to not trust him. And who in their right mind could not trust Albus Dumbledore? But you continue to put on this façade, this pretention of darkness and solitude. Like anyone who gets close to you will get hurt." At this announcement, she again took another step towards him, as if to prove her point. "Well, I'm not scared of getting hurt, Severus."

"Apparently not," Snape shot back, and the pressures of the night's events were heavy upon his shoulders. Why should he hold back anymore when she insisted upon pressing every one of his buttons so repeatedly? "Your brash nature has proven that completely, I assure you."

To her surprise, he took a step closer to her as well, leaving but a few inches of space in between them. "Your lack of reverence for the Dark Lord is astounding, Aurora," he hissed. "You seem to believe him incapable of seeing the truth of my deception, as he someday undoubtedly will. And when he does, he will not hesitate to eradicate everything that I care about."

Finally, the fear returned to her eyes as he continued to speak. "Voldemort does not work mercifully. The Killing Curse is reserved for battles and those that he needs to dispose of quickly. Treachery, however, is worthy of the most ultimate in torture. Should he ever find that any of his followers are taking advantage of his trust, it is every part of their life that will suffer, and slowly."

Her gaze had lowered and more, slow tears had began to fall. Severus reached out and tucked his hand under her chin, raising her gaze up to meet his once again. "Should I allow you closer, Aurora, it would not take him much time at all to discover what you meant to me. And then, he would go after you, and he would not rest until he had you. First, he would torture you for information about me, then Hogwarts, maybe even Dumbledore. He would not pause, he would not stop. Then," Severus paused, and Aurora flinched, "he would kill you. Slowly and painfully."

He let go of her chin and stepped back again. "You claim that I hold myself in solitude to keep people away, and you are right. But I beseech you to keep in mind that it is not for my own good, but yours. You wonder why I insist to keep you, and the others, at such a professional distance, why I falter even to call you by your first name if I can help it. Now, you know. And I must ask you to respect what I have chosen, even if you do not completely understand it."

Aurora stared at him, her eyes still wet and full of a myriad of emotions he could not quite put his finger on, nor did he want to. Severus cleared his throat and wondered how he could ever look her in the eyes again, or if it was safe to.

"You'll go to him, then?" she asked. "You have to." It wasn't a question. Severus nodded.

"Yes. He expects it, as does Dumbledore."

Aurora sighed. "I'm…sorry. I…I didn't know."

"Nor would I have expected you to." He straightened his robes again. "I must bid you a good night, Professor."

"Yes, I…of course," she replied, somewhat absentmindedly. "It's…very late. Good…good evening, Severus."

He watched her turn and begin to walk down the corridor. Severus bit his lip and cursed inwardly as he knew what he was about to do.

"Aurora."

She stopped and turned instantly at the sound of her name. Severus hesitated again and closed his eyes for a moment, making sure to make a mental note of removing this memory to a glass vial as soon as he could.

"I deeply regret any…hurt that I have caused you. Whether in the past or more recently. Please know that it was not my intention. And, if circumstances were…different, I would like to entertain the fact that we could be…" He paused, this word was having difficulty passing through his lips. "Friends."

Aurora opened her mouth and promptly closed it. "Thanks," she said simply, barely audible.

Surprised but thankful that she did not feel it necessary to play the situation out, he nodded curtly, turned, and left.


	6. six

six

_And the night he had finally thrown away everything that held him back._

Snape had been searching the Forbidden Forest for hours before coming to his conclusion. Potter and his imbecilic friends had taken it upon themselves to escape to the Department of Ministries.

Of course.

He had just come out of the forest, cold, a little hungry, and extremely pissed off at Potter and his lot. Snape had indeed caught the little coded message the boy had thrown at him in front of Umbridge, but what did he expect? A salute and floo to the Order right then? Could Potter _never _learn to trust without taking matters into his own incapable hands?

As it were, Severus had notified the Order at once, and discovered with a quick check in at Grimmauld Place that Voldemort had indeed employed Legllimency against Potter to lure him into a trap. Without waiting for further instruction, of course, Severus had no doubt that the boy had walked straight into it.

Needless to say, he was not in the greatest mood.

Emerging from the forest, he could see a cloaked figure waiting for him halfway to the castle, pacing. He knew who it was even from a distance.

As he drew closer, Aurora noticed him, and stopped pacing. Severus noted instantly the way she wrung her hands, and the wide-eyed, crestfallen look on her unusually pale face. He sighed and readied himself for the bad news. Who had fallen to a hole in the plan this time? Which member of the Order had been sacrificed because of Potter's thoughtless mistakes?

"Dumbledore just sent word," she called to him as he neared. "He'd thought you might be out here."

"Who, Aurora?" Severus asked, not feeling forthcoming enough to bother with the casual niceties of conversation. "Who was it?"

Aurora frowned. "Sirius Black."

Severus stopped in his tracks. The name of possibly one of his least favorite people. Sirius had been almost as relentless as James in the attack against his sanity for seven long years. However, he never would have wished…death on Black. Harry, who had made his rather rash decision based upon an attempt to keep his godfather safe, had undoubtedly tasted the blatant horror of regret.

Somewhere, deep down inside, Severus felt something akin to what he had felt upon delivering the words of the prophesy to Voldemort some 15 years ago. Remorse.

"I…I know he was not really…a friend of yours," said Aurora, taking a step closer to him, one hand extended out towards him shakily. "But, I am…sorry."

"Yes, well." Severus cleared his throat. "Death was undeserved, however. This is…regrettable."

Aurora lowered her hand. "It is." Now that they were closer, Snape could see that her face was flushed and damp, eyes swollen. Did this woman cry at everything?

"I didn't know you were close to him," he remarked. Aurora shook her head.

"I wasn't, no. Not at all. I mean, we had spoken a few times during school but…I knew how mean he was to you, and I…" She trailed off and shrugged, glancing past him into the dark forest. "Minerva told me the whole story last year. His unworthy capture and imprisonment, Pettigrew's deception."

"Stirred you to tears, did it?" Severus said, and instantly regretted it. He was still irritable from his trek through the forest and his stomach was beginning to feel the ache of a missed meal.

Aurora pursed her lips and pulled the hood of her cloak up over her hair as she turned back towards Hogwarts. "I guess it's just…as the death toll rises…" She paused, looking onto the glittering lights from the castle. "It just becomes more and more clear to me that, someday…we will all have to fight. And, maybe even…die."

She glanced back at him. "Forgive my fear. Not all of us can be as brave as you."

For once, Severus did not stop to think about his actions. He simply felt, and reached out for her, pulling her close without effort. He pushed her hood off and smoothed a hand over her hair.

"You are forgiven," he said. "And now, you must forgive me for finding myself ridiculously incapable of keeping you out of danger."

With that, Severus Snape kissed Aurora Sinistra.

It was effortless, really, which awed Severus as he had not kissed a woman in…too many years to count. But he simply followed his instincts, tipping her head back and lowering his mouth onto hers. Clearly in shock, it took a few seconds for her to respond, but she didn't attempt to pull away or slap him. Instead, she responded in kind, her hands sliding up his arms to grip his shoulders and pull him even closer.

The kiss went on for a few moments longer before Snape came to his senses almost abruptly. He pulled back slowly, eyes drawn as he tried to read Sinistra's face. She didn't look mad or upset, or offended…she looked, in light of recent events, pleased.

Snape was not used to this kind of reaction from a woman, especially after…kissing her.

He let go of her instantly and stepped back a little, for his own sanity.

"I apologize for my…ungentlemanly behavior," said Severus, avoiding her eyes and looking past her towards the castle. "It was uncalled for and out of order, I—"

"Oh, I believe it was both called for and in order," Aurora responded, waving away his apologies. "Allow us to deal with the danger of the situation another time."

Severus opened his mouth to argue – what he had done, after all, could undoubtedly cost her life, and sooner rather than later – but she cut him off.

"I'm not trying to downplay the graveness of the matter, Severus," she reminded, and he felt her warm hand close gently around his cold one. "But I believe there are more pertinent things we need to attend to currently."

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh? And what is more pertinent, pray tell, than your safety?"

"Well, right now…" She paused and his stomach growled audibly. "I think it's your hunger." She tugged on his hand and he had no choice but to follow. "Dinner's long over, but I've asked the house elves to send some food to your quarters. It should be waiting for us."

Snape allowed her to pull him, rather unceremoniously, back towards the castle. At one point, his fingers may have intertwined with hers, but he couldn't be sure. It was easy to remember how warm her hand had been, however, and how comfortably it had fit inside of his larger one.

"Did you ever find Umbridge?" Aurora asked, as they came closer to the school.

"No," Severus replied, watching her as the lights from the castle illuminated her face in the darkness. Had he always repressed how pretty he thought she was? "I am almost positive the centaurs have taken her. Where to, I do not profess to know, or much care."

Aurora laughed out loud, such a blatant expression of joy he hadn't been privy to, from anyone really, in a long time.

"Thank Merlin for that!" she exclaimed. "I had been hoping that blasted woman would get what was coming to her." Snape allowed himself what was barely a smile.

"I believe we all were."


	7. seven

seven

_And when he began to realize that it was, indeed, the beginning of the end._

Snape had crept as quietly up the stairs of the Astronomy tower as possible, but he felt as though his rapidly beating heart was much louder than his footfalls. As he neared the door, he could hear her voice coming through the heavy wood. Even when she had on her "professor voice", her tone still tinkled like blasted wind chimes. She was going on about something fairly idiotic – must have been first years inside. He stood outside the door for a moment before pulling it open carefully and silently.

None of the students inside turned to look, instead they seemed enamored with something on their desks, basic star charts from the look of it.

"Now, in a moment, when we head over to our telescopes, _please_ keep in mind that any mistakes you make on your charts will need to be erased magically," Aurora was saying, her hand waving in the air to punctuate her point as she spoke. She always did that, talked with her hands. "If you don't know how to do this, please raise your hand, and I will…"

She trailed off as she noticed Severus standing in the darkened doorway. A few of the students looked up at her pause.

"I will…help you," Aurora finished lamely, her hand falling to her side. "Alright, then. Please choose a telescope quietly, take your quills and charts with you, as well. That's right, thank you."

As the students crossed the room to the telescopes, Aurora waited until they were all apparently occupied before hurrying to the door. "Is something wrong?" she asked in a hushed whisper.

"No." Severus swallowed the dry lump in his throat painfully. "The headmaster wishes to speak with us, both, in his office."

Aurora cocked her head, confused. "Really? But my -"

"I shall furnish someone to watch your class," Severus assured her. "Make sure everything is in order and meet me downstairs."

She was clearly nonplussed at his curt manner, but didn't ask any more questions. She nodded and crossed over to check on her students.

Severus descended the stairs quickly to find the Slytherin ghost waiting for him. Unfortunately, the castle was rather unusually deserted this time of night, and he'd been unable to find anyone else willing. His first choice had been the reasonably more personable Nearly Headless Nick, but being the Gryffindor ghost, he had no wish to do any favors for Slytherin.

"You can head on up," Snape acknowledged and the ghost began to glide past him. He stepped quickly out of the way to avoid an icy bath. "I appreciate your acquiescence greatly."

The Bloody Baron murmured a monotone reply as he began to float up the stairs. "Well, I enjoy the night sky as well as anyone, I suppose."

Moments after the ghost disappeared up the steps, Aurora appeared, looking harried and concerned.

"The Bloody Baron, really?" she hissed, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder. "Honestly, Severus, the Hufflepuff first years are ready to wet themselves enough without this kind of provocation. He'll terrify them!"

"He'll keep things in order until we return. It won't be long," he assured her, taking her elbow and leading her towards Dumbledore's office. The password, of course, was something ridiculous like lemon bean, and Severus waited anxiously for the gargoyle to leap aside before pulling Aurora up the revolving stairs. She struggled uncomfortably in his grip, using her own hand to try and loosen the hold.

"_What_ is going on? You're acting strange."

Severus allowed his grip to slacken a bit but did not respond.

Dumbledore's office was quiet and deserted, as he'd expected. He let go of Aurora and closed the door firmly behind them. She stalked a few steps into the empty office ahead of him before seeming to realize that the headmaster was most definitely not present.

"Severus?" She whirled around to look at him, her face displaying every emotion, as it always did. She was clearly confused and mostly frustrated. "What on earth is the meaning of this?"

He took a moment to watch her. Even in anger, she was still…beautiful. And it was hard for him to think that word, let alone say it, but he supposed maybe he should have told her a couple of times.

Aurora continued to wait for his response, her frustration fading as concern took over for good. She seemed to sense that he had nothing pleasant to share.

Finally, he took the necessary steps towards her to close the gap between them. He supposed the best way was to just come out with it.

"I'm…I'm going to be leaving. Soon," he announced, thankful that his voice didn't crack mid-sentence.

"What?" Aurora didn't look any less confused than she had before. "What do you mean? Leaving where?"

He didn't respond right away and she started to become frantic. "Severus? I…I can go with you." She turned away from him, looking longingly towards the door. "I'll go and…and dismiss my class early, and I can pack and we…"

"Aurora." His voice was deeper than he expected, thick with something like…emotion. She was still panicking and he reached up to place his hands on her shoulders and pull her attention back to him. "Calm yourself, and listen," he demanded over her incessant talking. "Listen!"

The last word was a harsh snap, and she immediately found his stern gaze. The room was dim with fading light from the flickering fireplace, but he could already see the glisten in her wide eyes.

"Where I'm going," Snape ground out. "I am going…alone."

Aurora seemed to calm down a little bit, but the panic was still lurking in her eyes. "Dumbledore…has asked you to?"

Severus nodded. "Yes."

His hands were still on her shoulders, holding her in place should she choose to run away. He wouldn't blame her if she had.

"To…him?"

He didn't respond this time, but she knew the answer.

"Will you be safe?" Her voice was beginning to waver. He hadn't expected her to go to pieces so soon. Perhaps he wasn't going about this the best way, but he didn't know how to do it better.

"That remains to be seen," Severus replied carefully. "However, Aurora, it is _very_ important that you stay at Hogwarts." His hold on her shoulders tightened. "You must promise me that you will stay here, under any circumstances."

Aurora nodded as the first tears began to fall silently. "Am I in…danger?"

He felt a flood of regret at his selfishness, his decision to drag her into this, to put her life in such a precarious balance. He'd stayed strong for four years, why had he given in? She was worth more than this, than his lack of self-restraint.

"I have taken every precaution I could think of," he assured her, his voice slipping into a professional tone with ease. "As you know, I have much experience in the area of Occlumency, should the Dark Lord choose to invade my mind. I have also taken care to remove some very…obvious memories of you, for storage in a well-protected cabinet in my quarters."

Tears continued to fall down her cheeks without respite. Assuming she feared for her life as much as he did, Severus squeezed her shoulders again. "I can assure you, the safest place for you will be here, where you are. Continue with your classes and normalcy here at Hogwarts. I must urge you to do this, and let on nothing of what I have told you here tonight."

At his insistence, leading up to this very moment, they had kept their relationship somewhat secret within the school. Albus knew, of course, and Minerva, along with some of the other members of the Order. However, they had taken great care to insure that no students had ever suspected anything. Besides being colleagues and sitting next to each other at the high table, as far as anyone was concerned, Professor Sinistra and Professor Snape had nothing to do with one another. This had been for her safety, and his, should any Slytherin students report back home to their parents that Snape had been keeping rather close half-blood company.

Severus let go of her shoulders abruptly and turned away, walking towards the fireplace. He half-heartedly jabbed his wand at the dying fire, injecting life into the flickering flames, spreading more light and warmth around the otherwise silent room. He braced his arm against the mantel and stared down into the flames. Aurora didn't follow him, and she said nothing.

He wasn't sure how much time had elapsed until he felt ready enough to say what he had to say next.

"Something is going to happen tomorrow night. Something that will horrify you, all of the students and staff. Unfortunately, there is…nothing more I can say to prepare you for this unfortunate occasion." He turned away from the fire to look at her, make sure she was still there. She stood in the same spot where he had left her, apparently rooted to the floor. "I just ask that you…understand."

Understand? _Understand_? He wanted her to _understand_ what he was about to do? What the whole year, maybe his entire career at Hogwarts was leading up to? _He_ couldn't even understand what he was about to do, how could he expect _her_ to? How could he look at her, standing there, a complete innocent, and ask her to _understand_ his motives behind the heinousness he was about to commit?

Snape turned away from her gaze; he felt as though he were going to be sick.

"I don't…understand," Aurora said, and of course she didn't.

"I won't ask you to forgive me," he continued, staring back at the orange and white flames. "Because, in and of itself, the act will be unforgivable, even with further explanation. I don't ask you to try and decipher my motives or reasoning."

"Severus," she interrupted, and her voice was bare, pleading. "You're scaring me."

"Not as nearly as scared as I am," he muttered, and he didn't care if she couldn't hear him. Severus cleared his throat and took a step back from the fire; he could feel the heat through his coat and it was starting to suffocate him. "I've already said too much."

"Why can't you just tell me everything?"

"It's not safe for you to know these things," Severus reminded. "If you were captured and tortured for information, you-"

"I would crack?" she finished. "How can you be so sure? Maybe I can resist the Cruciatus curse with the best of them, maybe I'm more trustworthy than you think, maybe…"

Aurora trailed off and Severus turned in time to see her stumble a little and nearly fall to the floor. He was next to her, arm around her waist before summoning a chair near Dumbledore's desk. She slid into the seat like a limp ragdoll, and one look at her face told him that he'd given her all she could handle tonight.

"Aurora," he began carefully, crouching down next to the chair so that he was on her eye level. There was so much he wanted to say, so much that he felt inside. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, that she got to him in ways that no one else could, that she was really very smart and impressed him immensely, that he would rather die than see her tortured, and even if she didn't crack, he'd rather die than see her in St. Mungo's for the rest of her life like the Longbottoms. He wanted to say all of these things and more, but knew that he just…couldn't.

"Aurora, I am…sorry. For everything."

She stared at him for a few silent moments before reaching out to him. The palm of her hand grazed across his forehead, his cheekbone, and came to rest just under his jaw. He wasn't used to such intimate physical affection, but she'd always liked to test his limits as far as she could.

"I could never blame you, Severus." Her voice was barely audible. "For anything." 

He sighed. "You shouldn't say that quite yet."

"I'll say it whenever I want," she replied stubbornly. But her eyes stayed soft and so did her touch. "I think I…could have loved you," she announced, tipping her chin up bravely. "If I had gotten the chance."

And he would have liked to have given it to her, he thought. But didn't say so out loud.

"I have…appreciated your friendship and company, this past year especially," was what he said instead. "You have been a great comfort to me. And you…deserve more."

Aurora smiled then, but it was a sad smile. "So do you."

Her hand dropped back to her lap and Severus took his cue to stand. "If you prefer, I can return to your class in your place, should you need to take a moment. You will not be disturbed here."

"No." She stood as well, sending the chair back to its place with one wave of her hand. "I'm alright."

"Very well. If you don't mind, I will be using the floo to return to my quarters." He couldn't stand the idea of walking with her all the way back to the Astronomy tower on his way back to the dungeons. The longer he was with her, the worse it would be.

"I don't mind." But as he turned to leave, she closed her hand around his forearm. "Will I see you again?"

He paused. "Yes. However, the circumstances will be gravely different."

She didn't respond verbally, but the next thing Severus knew, she was in his arms, her head resting softly against his chest. It wasn't difficult for him to wrap his arms around her, or press his face into her hair and take in the scent of her one last time. He would, of course, have to remove this memory as well, later. But right now, he didn't see anything wrong with reveling in it. The way she fit next to him comfortably, the way her hand unconsciously rubbed the back of his left shoulder blade, the way he could feel the beat of her heart and the rise of her breath mimicking his own.

They didn't speak; words had failed them by this point. But Severus didn't balk as she pulled back to look in his eyes. And he didn't try to pull away as she stood on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in a short, sweet kiss. And he didn't shy away from the feeling of being really, truly valued.

The moment passed, and they stepped away from each other at the same time, she heading for the door and he for the fireplace. Neither looked back.


	8. eight

eight

_And the final time he'd allowed himself to be in her presence._

Severus sat, hunched over, at the large desk. The heels of his hands pressed against his temples in some vain attempt to alleviate the pain in his head. All around him, more and more ordeals to take care of were piling up. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten, but who had time to eat, when he had the insufferable Carrow siblings to look after, the rise of Voldemort was all but imminent, and the fate of the Wizarding world was in the hands of a barely capable 17 year old?

Who indeed. 

The fire in the fireplace had dwindled as night had fallen, but he hadn't bothered with restarting it. It must have been late, the portraits of past headmasters were all asleep, some even snoring. He'd given up asking their advice some time ago – they were all hopeless at this point.

Unsure of what else to do, and tired of sitting, Severus stood and crossed the room to the fireplace. On his way over, his eye caught the portrait of Dumbledore, fast asleep with a small smile on it's somewhat ethereal face. At first, Snape had thought that this portrait would give him great comfort, but it was unfortunately lacking. The warmth, intelligence, mirth, and care of Albus Dumbledore could not be accurately represented in a painting.

Nor could it give him the berating he deserved.

Severus murmured the spell to restart the fire and watched it flare up. His eyes found the small jar of floo powder on the mantel, and his stomach flip-flopped.

He'd been considering it for weeks, months even. But each time he'd come close, his conscience had jumped in, kicking and screaming for his attention. No, no. He simply…could not invade her privacy that way.

Aurora Sinistra had not said a word to him since the night they had spoken in that very office, almost a year ago. Of course, most of the other teachers were not on speaking terms with him, and he had not expected any less. He did not want Aurora to speak to him, merely because a time like this could not guarantee her safety in doing so. He had promised Dumbledore he would do all he could to protect the students and staff of Hogwarts. But to do that for Aurora, he knew, was to simply keep her away.

If that meant allowing her to believe him a murderer, then so be it.

He wasn't sure of her reaction to Dumbledore's death. Especially happening on the Astronomy tower. Ironic, he'd remembered thinking, but in a sick way. He'd assumed, of course, that she'd been as shocked and horrified as the rest of the teachers. No one considered him an ally anymore. He was certain Flitwick had almost spit on him the other day. How could he expect Aurora's opinion to be any different? He had given her a warning, but the magnitude of the situation she'd been completely unable to expect, of course.

Yes, he was quite sure that she saw him as a murderer and a bastard. As he rightfully was.

Severus gripped the mantel hard, still staring at the jar of floo powder. _It may be your last chance,_ the non-moral part of his brain pleaded. _You may never get to see her again. Don't you want to be close to her, one last time? And of course…how else will you get her the key?_

He grimaced and waited for the moral counterpart to defend itself, but that part of his brain was muffled blissfully as the devilish urgings continued. _You may as well just do it, she'll be fast asleep, it'll be your only chance!_

His mind made up, Severus stalked back over to the desk, and opened the bottom drawer to recover a small, black box. He hurried back over the fireplace, not giving his mind a chance to catch up with his actions, and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. He tossed it into the flames, announced his destination, and stepped in.

With a whirl, he found himself in Sinistra's quarters.

He had been there but a few times himself, as she usually preferred him to spend the night with her. His dungeon quarters had given her "the creeps" and chilled her during the night. He had agreed to her request mostly because he enjoyed the rather homey quality of her rooms compared to his. He had no need for anything more than function in his living space, but she had taken the initiative to make the area much like a small house, covering any available spot with framed photos of family and friends, and adding interesting touches of her own, like blankets and pillows and rugs and even some weird Muggle paintings that didn't move at all, but added to the ambiance nonetheless.

Severus looked around the room quickly, but it was as dark and quiet as he expected. Even from where he stood, he could see her form, fast asleep in the middle of the large bed, huddled under the piles of blankets she insisted on sleeping with. Her face was barely visible, sunken down in the soft pillows, but her dark hair was spread all around, and he had a vague memory of being accosted with it while he slept and starting to insist that she tie it back. In reality, he rather enjoyed the smell of her hair, and he'd liked the way her pillows had adopted the same light scent.

He rounded the foot of her bed quietly, hardly daring to breathe. She was fast asleep, her face more visible as he stood on the other side of the room, watching her. Her eyelids fluttered as they did when she was in a deep, undisturbed sleep, and her right hand was curled up under her chin, as if she had fallen asleep thinking.

Severus watched her for a few more moments before remembering the pretense under which he had come. He pulled the small box out of his pocket, suddenly realizing he would need to leave a note with it. Using his wand, he conjured a small piece of parchment and composed his note on it, quill-less, lest the noise wake her. He set the box and the short note down on her bedside table and watched her for a few more moments.

Finally, Severus realized he'd been standing in her room far too long. What if she woke up? What if…well, there many what-ifs, as his conscience began to resurface in his mind. He'd made a mistake in coming here, this was not safe for either of them.

He headed back to the fireplace quickly, his eyes scanning the mantel for floo powder. He found the jar next to another framed photograph. He thought he had seen all the pictures in her room, but this one was new. His rush to leave was interrupted, and he lifted the frame from the mantle to examine it more closely.

It was a picture of the high table that someone had taken from a feast last year, perhaps Hallow's Eve. Dumbledore was there, and Minerva next to him. Hagrid was present, along with the returning Slughorn, sitting next to Madam Hooch and looking as regal as ever. Everyone in the photograph was smiling and waving at him. Albus was winking, of course. And, on the far left, his own face stared back, looking as sullen as ever, but there was something different about his expression. His normal frown was present, but it was…tweaked slightly. As if it could have been a smile, almost. The reason for this could only be explained by the witch sitting next to him, Aurora Sinistra herself. Her smile could not be contained in the slightest, and she waved up at him cheekily, before reaching over to poke the photo version of himself in the side. The action almost, _almost_ caused his frown to tumble headfirst into smile territory, but his photo-self caught it at the last moment and scowled at Aurora, as perfunctory as ever.

Severus stared at the photo a few moments longer, almost wishing he could somehow rewind and find himself back at that moment, a simpler time.

Finally, he set the photo down and tossed some floo powder in the fireplace. He had stayed too long already. The last thought he had heading up to his office was that he hoped Aurora heeded his note and kept the box safe.


	9. fin

_Aurora, _

_My deepest apologies, but I could not have given this to you in public. The box has a password; it's "achernar", which I believe means "end of the river" and is the ninth brightest star. I hope this is true, as I read it in a book. The key will open the lock on the cabinet which you will find in my old quarters down in the dungeons. You will know what to do with what you find inside. _

_Severus_

Aurora held the crumpled parchment tightly in her hand as she sat in front of the stone Pensieve, watching the silvery substance swirl. Hot tears slid off of her face and joined with the memory inside.

_Fin._


End file.
